A(lways)K(eep)F(ighting)

As a preface for the coming entry…

ONE WEEK!!!!!!!! MY PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WILL BE BACK IN ONE WEEK!!!!!

Ahem… So, um, yeah. Also:

GOD DAMN, that man is SEXY AS FUCK! Deep breaths, Mandy, deep breaths… Lol! 😉 ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Now! Forwards to our post for today!

Jared Padalecki, Sam Winchester from Supernatural, has a campaign that he started. It’s called Always Keep Fighting, of AKF for short, and it started out as a way to raise awareness about depression and suicide and to raise money for the organization To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA). I didn’t find out about the campaign until he had already started selling the second t-shirt (this past year) to raise money for it, but when I did, I was ecstatic.

You see, I’ve known about TWLOHA for a very long time, back since my college days, and I even went so far as to have my (now ex)fiance design a tattoo for me based on the concept. Here, take a look:

I’ve always loved the French language and took 3 years of it in high school and was even told in community college (after I took a medical leave of absence from real college) that I should have tested out of the lower classes and into the higher classes because I was so good at it, but I insisted on staying in the lower classes because I didn’t remember a lot of the basics, contrary to what my teacher though (lol!). Haha.

L’amour means “love” in French, obviously, and once every year, TWLOHA encourages people to write the word “love” on their arms in support of people who cut and self-harm and are suicidal and depressed, to show those people that there are people out there in the world who love and support them, even if they don’t actually know them personally.

I just decided to take it a step further and get it permanently done on me. And I wanted it to be done by the man I love and I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, as a symbolism of love. Also, the heart at the end is supposed to be shaped like a “teardrop” or a “blood drop”, and can be taken either way, to symbolize the cutting and depression, because I have obvious cutting scars on that arm (because obviously, I myself was a cutter back before my bipolar was officially diagnosed and I was being properly treated and medicated).

This tattoo was done in December of 2010. So this December will mark 5 years since I got my first tat! 😉 And a very meaningful one at that!

So of course I was DEEPLY touched that Jared from my FAVORITE TV series EVER had decided to choose THIS specific organization to back. And so I bought the second shirt from his campaign.

This is when I first got the shirt. It says “Moose & Squirrel Say Always Keep Fighting”, and the face on the left hand side of the picture is Jared’s and the face on the right hand side is Jensen’s. You can imagine my excitement at Jensen being on this shirt (squee!!!!!!!!!). 😉 “Moose & Squirrel” is a reference from SPN, for those not in the know. It’s what Crowley, the King of Hell, calls the boys, Jared/Sam being “Moose” (because he’s SO FREAKING TALL) and Jensen/Dean being “Squirrel” (Dunno why that name was picked, actually, lol).

I was MORE than happy to help support TWLOHA and Jared’s campaign and Jared himself and I love the shirt. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ (I am also wearing my Rowena cosplay wig in the picture, so that’s why you see red hair trailing down, lol! I’m a dirty blonde…a VERY “dirty” blonde…. 😉 )

And then Jared did a THIRD campaign, a third shirt, and I just HAD to get that one too, because I had missed the first one and I’ll be DAMNED if I miss out on any others, lol! So I did, I got the third.

Again, the “Moose” reference is there, with the horns, and the candle is there because, at a convention, a fan surprised Jared by passing out “Always Keep Fighting” LED tealight candles to everyone who entered the hall for the SPN panel and at a specified time, everyone held them up, to symbolize unity in supporting Jared, and he was floored and stunned and overwhelmed. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Well, all of the above was just kinda a backstory to preface what I’m about to tell you next: I reached out for help regarding dealing with my illnesses.

I called my local mental health clinic, that’s SUPPOSED to give free mental health care but might try to charge ME since I have actual insurance (ugh!), to try to make an initial appointment to talk to them about getting involved in their Dialectical Behavior Therapy program, a therapy that is supposed to be good for things like bipolar and anxiety and depression and whatnot. I have a book on it in regards to bipolar, but I’ve never really read it. Oops.

But regardless, I’m trying to get involved now, at the insistence of a friend who works for the clinic and my psychiatrist (and I think even my regular therapist), so that’s something.

I’ve been afraid to do it because I’m afraid it won’t work, that it’ll fail to help me, and I’ll be left dealing with the hell that is my life and my mind all on my own once more, or that these people will be incompetent and just makes things worse for me. Sigh. That last part is a very real fear in these parts of town. It’s known to happen. Blah.

But at least I’m trying, right? That’s what counts.

I’m going to “Always Keep Fighting”, like Jared says to, because that’s what I have to do. You can’t give up, you have to keep going. It’s a lesson I’m learning the hard way, but at least I’m learning it, ya know? So what I’m saying to you is:

ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING!!!!!!!

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End of 2015 Goals

So I was inspired by my dear friend Kimi who recently posted about how she had made a post a year ago, listing goals she wanted to achieve before she turned 30, and in this recent post, she was going back and reviewing how she had done in actually making those goals a reality over the year that had passed.

I’ve decided to list the goals I would like to achieve by the end of this current year, though I am also currently working on a 30 Things I Would Like To Do Before I Turn 30 list, but I’m only 27 right now, so I’ve got a little over 2 years left before turning 30, lol (my birthday’s in February 😉 ).

So here it is! My “End of 2015 Goals” list!

• Do at least one Jamicure with the Jams I have from Jamberry
• Keep my nails grown out and well-kept
• Return the costumes I borrowed from my church for GiShWhEs this past year (but didn’t get to use, boo!) to my church
• Master (or at least get it down decently) the technique of weaving charms into my cotton string knot bracelets
• Get my hair cut how I want it and maybe even highlighted (and keep up the look)
• Get all my clothes that are still out from when I moved back in put away in drawers or hung up in my closet
• Host my first giveaway on this blog!
• Get good pictures of me taken in my Casual Femme Castiel Cosplay
• Have most (if not all) of my poems typed up and titled, for my book
• Get with Chuck, the tattoo artist who did my first tattoo and who I would like to do my other tattoo ideas as well, about tat designs ideas I am considering (either the anti possession tats on either side of my collar bone area or my “ShAckles” tat idea that Diedre is currently designing) and find out prices and decide on which design I’d like to have done (or both! If the price is right… 😉 ) and tentatively set up an appointment for either my birthday or for in December 2015, depending on the tattoo(s) I decide on (and that will mostly depend on price); or, maybe save the money I would spend on tattoos if they will be too expensive and get them made into temporary tattoos for SeaCon and use that money that I would have spent on tattoos on SeaCon tickets
• Get with my good friend Kayce, who is paying for and funding most of my trip to Seattle, about the trip plans and solidify said plans and make all the necessary arrangements, such as scheduling the flights and whatnot (UPDATE: As of now, we’re planning on having me fly out on March 13, which would have been my 12th anniversary with my ex, so as to try to help me not have a mental breakdown on that day and that’ll have me out in Seattle on Kayce’s sister Lizzy’s birthday, which is the next day, the 14th, and Lizzy is also a good friend of my mine, and that would be wonderful to be out there on Lizzy’s birthday to celebrate with her and everyone else and during that time of the month when things are so so hard for me. )
• Buy my ticket for SeaCon
• Buy the Jensen photo-op and the Misha autograph tickets
• Successfully participate in the AKF Gift Exchange
• If booked my tattoo appointment for December, get my tattoo
• Finish my “first year” of my Gratitude Journal
• Will add to this as I think of more… Lol! And by “add to this”, that means I’ll make a whole new post with these goals plus the new goals. 😉

My Current “Logo”- The Backstory

So my “Catwoman Me” logo was a commissioned piece of artwork done by that artist Tim Shinn, who was attending a convention in North Carolina called Heroes Con and that I was hoping to attend as well, so I commissioned the work from him, hoping to be able to meet him and pay him in person.

But then I couldn’t make it. And I told him I probably wouldn’t be able to make it (my ex is a douche, what can I say?), but he continued to do the drawing anyway and allowed me to pay him through PayPal. It was $50 well spent. I have the drawing now and can’t wait to frame it and hang it on my wall.

He was really good about sending me the progression of the drawing as it went along. I had told him I wanted a picture of me as Catwoman with my cat Mango in it with me, and I gave him reference pictures of things I liked and wanted, and he came up with the logo you have seen all over this blog and things associated with this blog.

Here is the first draft of what the drawing looked like:

I loved it! I was ecstatic with it from the moment I saw this. I was BEYOND blown away by just how GREAT a job he had done and I was so so pleased!

So then he sent me this:

And I was even MORE thrilled, if that could even be possible! I thought this was the finished product and I loved it as it was, but he said he still had some shading and stuff to do, and I was like “What?! This isn’t the FINISHED PRODUCT?! And it looks THIS FABULOUS?! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!” Lol!

And then of course, came THIS WONDERFUL PIECE OF ARTISTRY:

I am TOTALLY in love with this picture. I mean, seriously. I have a DEEP love of Catwoman, and have since I was a kid. She’s always been my favorite comic book character, and I have, like, a literal shrine to her. I even own her whip. Lol. And I have always wanted to be Selina Kyle. And Tim granted my wish! He MADE ME INTO CATWOMAN! WITH MY BABY MANGO!!! *squees and flails hands* ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I intend to use him again for MORE artwork! I have two other cats (or well, I DID have two other cats, one had to be put down last year and that totally broke my heart into a million billion tiny pieces and it’s just not an experience I’m able to talk about without a lot of anger and pain…) that I would like to get me as famous cat-related female characters from comic books (or other stuff) with… So he’s got some work coming his way when I can financially swing it.

But as you can see, he is TOTALLY AWESOME AND YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM ALL YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!! 😉

And that is the story behind how my “logo” came into existence. 😀

Also…10 DAYS!!!! ONLY 10 MORE DAYS!!!! “IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!” SING IT EUROPE!!!!!!!

😉

In an update about the Gift Exchange, I bought part of the presents I’m giving to my person last night, as well as ordering the Jerk & Bitch Ring Friendship Necklaces for Emily and I! I’m super excited about both purchases! 😀 And I also found something that I already have that I’m going to give to my Secret Santa person. 😉 It’s cute and I hope she likes it! ❤

 

Peace!

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Gettin’ Shiz Done, Yo!

H’okay, so…

I got ALL my previous posts ALL tagged up and everythang now! Yahz! I feels so accomplished! 😉

I am rewarding myself with a LARGE plate of spaghetti! 😉 Haha!

Oh Jensen, you sexy motherfucker… Mmmm….. 😉

I’m terribly terribly excited about the idea of getting my SPN/Jensen related tattoos! Hopefully sooner, rather than later. I hope to get the anti possession tats and the “ShAckles” tattoo BEFORE I head to Seattle in March. I’m so giddy and impatient to see what Diedre comes up with for the Infinity Heart Handcuffs part of the “ShAckles” tat design! Hehe! As soon as I get that part, I can go to my tattoo artist, Chuck, and start talking with him about prices and placement and sizing and all of that, and then can make an appointment for when I’d like to get either one (or both!) of the tat design ideas done! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I will be SURE to keep ALL of you updated on every little detail of my journey to getting these tats permanently marked on me for the rest of my living existence. 😀

I’m also reading Pepi’s book, Geek Anthropology of Loki’s Army (Kindle)(Print), about the character of Loki and the actor who plays him in the recent Thor and Avengers movies, Tom Hiddleston, and the fandom that surrounds both of them. It’s pretty interesting so far and I’ve barely begun it! But I plan on writing a review of it once I finish it and also posting some pics of my “Casual Lady Loki Cosplay” that I have assembled along with my review, to show my support of “Loki’s Army” (the fandom)! 😉 So keep an eye out for that! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I’m also trying to work with a small business owner who does fandom stuffs to customize a really cute multi-fandom charm bracelet called: Unite the Fandoms! I know all the charms I want on it, from the charms that I’ve seen that she has available from all her bracelets, I just need to convey to her exactly what I want and figure out how much it’s going to cost and all of that. 😀 Very excited about this! This is super terrific in my mind because it’ll allow me to convey my love of my various fandoms without having to wear a TON of different jewelry or whatnot to do so. Yahz!

And just for good measure, once again…

Yeah, baby, shake it…. 😉

 

Peace!

 

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A B C, 1 2 3, Baby You And Me

Holy SHIT. I have been CRAVING Chef Boyardee “ABC’s & 123’s with Meatballs” for, like, fucking EVER recently and my GLORIOUS mother went out and bought me some! I am happily happily HAPPILY gorging myself on a can of said cuisine at this very moment. Deliciousness. But not nearly as delicious as Jensen…

Just saying… 😉

OMG, that man is SO FUCKING HAWT! I NEEDZ HIS BABIES IN MY WOMB!!!!! IT IS CRYING OUT FOR HIS SEED!!!!!! LOLS!!!!!!! I crack myself up, which is good, because I’m pretty sure no one else thinks I’m NEARLY as funny as I find myself to be. Lol. 😉

But seriously? I NEED to fuck him. Just saying. 😉 ❤

Anywhoo…

I’m terribly excited about an AKF (Always Keep Fighting) Gift Exchange that my friend Emily is running on FB. And we found out our picks for our person who we are gifting to yesterday and I’m SUPER excited about who I got because she’s actually an acquaintance of mine who I’ve been befriending recently and I’m really happy to be able to be gifting her things that she might really like and also a few things I just want to give her. 😉 I’ll probably just keep adding to her gift as it goes and then send it as it gets closer to Christmas. 😀

I met Emily through an AKF group and we bonded over an AKF meet-up that she started planning and I got in on helping her with the planning and now we’ve become great friends! She’s absolutely wonderful and I’m sending her a little present, a friendship necklace, to commemorate our experiences with all this AKF stuff together! The necklace is a two part necklace, like most friendship necklaces are, except this one is, of course, SPN related. Haha. Check it, yo!

Supernatural Jerk & Bitch Ring Necklace Set

She’s getting the “Jerk” one, because that’s what Sam says, and she’s more like Sam in our relationship, being that she’s more calm and reasonable and tries to work things out with people and be nice to them. I, one the other hand, get the “Bitch” one, because, well, I AM a bitch (hehe!), and plus, Dean says “Bitch” and I’m more like Dean because I’m the hot-head who flies off the handle and curses up a storm and loses it constantly over people being stupid. Lol.

To show you how absolute sweet and adorable she is, when I told her what I was doing regarding the necklaces and the explanation behind it, she told me she was crying. ❤ I loves her.

I’m also sending her some sexual related things, because that’s just how I am, I like to gift my friends with fun stuff to play with! 😉

Oh, I KNEW I had forgotten something cute and adorable in my giraffe collection, but couldn’t remember what it was until a little while ago, so here it is:

It’s a flash giraffe! Haha! A slightly off rhyme. 😉 He’s so cute!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ I loves him! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ Hehe!

My favorite thing about him, though, is that it’s his ASS that is the flash-drive! So you have an ass sticking out of your computer when you use him. Lol! It cracks me up. I especially love putting stuff on it that I need to have printed off elsewhere and taking it to them and handing the sales person the ass of the giraffe and just grinning like the Cheshire Cat because it’s so funny that I’m handing them an ass. Haha! They literally “put my ass into it”… 😉 AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Also, happy Bisexual Equality/Awareness Week!

I changed my profile pic on FB to the above picture to support all my bi friends and potentially family members who just haven’t said anything yet. Lol. Ya never know, ya know what I mean? 😉

AND 11 DAYS!!!!!!!! ONLY 11 MORE DAYS UNTIL MY PRECIOUSSSSSSS RETURNS!!!!!! I CANNOT WAITS!!!!!!

Haha. I’m going to be posting that meme a LOT until the premiere, and probably afterwards too, I’m not gonna lie… 😉

I really need to go back through all of my posts so far, before I get too many more that it gets too overwhelming of a task to do, and put “tags” in all of them, because that’s one thing I’ve been failing to do so far throughout this process. I do it on my OTHER blog (Sex & The Holy City), but for some reason, I just didn’t start doing it with this one… I honestly don’t know why. *shrugs* So I shall rectify my error and henceforth correct my behavior! 😀

Or, well, I’ll do it tomorrow… Haha. 😉

Peace, my dears!

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5 Fandom Friday!

First off, I just have to say a HUGE THANK YOU to both Little House of Crafting and Kimi Who? for featuring me on their blogs this week! I am greatly honored that I was picked by both of them to be featured and am giddy with glee about it! *squees and flails hands* THANK YOU AGAIN GUYS!!!! YOU ROCK!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Okay, so, this week’s 5 Fandom Friday (which is a list of 5 things that are related to a prompt from the blogging community Female Geek Bloggers) is: Pumpkin Items Cannot Wait To Purchase.

I’m not a huge pumpkin fan, so this might be kinda hard, but I’ll give it a try…

So here it goes!

 

1. The Maple Sugar & Pumpkin Spice Jams from Jamberry!
   
2. The super cute pumpkin tights!
   
3. An actual pumpkin to attempt to carve. Lol. I might try an SPN inspired design! 😉
   
4. This fucking adorable ass Pumpkin Handmade Knit Hat from Etsy! OMG, I LOVES IT!!!!!!
   
5. These sweet ass Halloween boxers from Target that would be excellent to wear as pajama bottoms and just for lounging around!
   

 

And ta da! I managed to come up with 5 pumpkin related things that I want to drop my cash on! *dances*

Hope you enjoyed!

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Things I Love Thursday!

So, as I said last week, Things I Love Thursday is a link-up put on by my friend Kimi over at Kimi Who? and Heather at The Nerdy Fox where you post things from around the internet that you found over the week that you absolutely love. I was able to participate for the FIRST TIME EVA last week, and now this week will be my second time! (Duh. Obviously. Lol.)

So, shall we begin?

Without further ado… Things I Love Thursday!!!!

 

 

MEMES I LOVE

This is probably going to be long again… I really LOVE memes… Hahahaha!!! 😉

(My mom’s always on my case with “That’s not very lady-like” and I’m just like “Pffft…. Fuck it.” Lol!)

(This happens to me ALL THE TIME!!!! *headdesk*)

(Why yes, yes I have indeed… Lol.)

(AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

(So true…)

(SO FUCKING TRUE!!!!! GOD I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF WHEN MY MOM WAS WATCHING THIS SHIT!!!!! UGH!!!!!!)

(So true! ElleOhElle!)

(Fuck you fibro. Just…fuck you…)

(I do this ALL THE TIME with my dogs! I’ll be scolding them, or cursing them out for doing something really bad, but I’ll be talking in a sarcastic happy voice, but they take it as a REAL happy voice, and get all excited and I’m just like “……” Lol!)

(THIS IS SO ME!!!!)

(AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! LOVES IT!!!!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ )

(Nerd Love! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ )

(AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Happens to me constantly…. 😉 )

(MORE NERD LOVE!!!!!!!!!! MY PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ 😉 )

(SPN LOVE!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ )

(MORE SPN LOVE!!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ 😉 14 DAYS Y’ALL!!!!! AHHHHH!!!)

(JENSEN LOVE!!!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ I ADORE HIM!!!!!!!! ❤ )

(And the best for last…. This is perfection!!!! 😉 )

 

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INSPIRATIONAL SHIT I LOVE

First will be the pics, then will be the links!

 

(I can only hope so… </3 )

(This is how I KNOW I should feel about my ex…)

(This makes me feel sad…)

(This…is AWESOME!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ )

(I really wish I could wholeheartedly feel this way…)

(This…THIS SO HARDCORE!!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ )

(Didn’t exactly “find this on the internet” but I DID put this on the internet in the form of making it my cover photo for FB as it’s a bookmark I was given that I just re-found this week and I find it very inspiring. 🙂 ❤ )

( ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ )

(I also wish I could feel this wholeheartedly… Sigh.)

Article: NFL Player Promoting Fibromyalgia Awareness

(This is really freakin’ awesome! It’s sad that his sister has it, but I’m glad that he’s bringing more awareness about it to people, so maybe people will start being MORE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING about it. )

Article: Pope Francis Smacks Churches: “If You Don’t Help the Poor and Needy, then Pay Taxes Like a Business”

(Can I just say how much I LOVE this Pope? I’m not even Catholic and I think he’s FABULOUS! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ )

Article: I Deserve More: Why Being Friends With Benefits Makes No Sense To Me

(This is kinda like what my ex and I are, I guess… I don’t even really know, but this article spoke to me when my sister posted it on her FB…)

Article: This Guy Just Raised The Cost Of An HIV Drug By 5000%

(If THIS doesn’t inspire you to want to THROAT PUNCH THE FUCK out of this piece of shit douche bag, then you are a heartless mother fucker… Just saying.)

Article: Some Animals Can Suffer From Mental Illness, Too

(This inspires me because I’ve been on the bandwagon of believing animals are just as emotionally capable as humans are, and that means mentally as well, so that means they can suffer exactly the same ways we do, and the fact that science is now moving in the direction to prove that means that we can in fact help those animals who DO suffer from the same ailments we do. So yah!!! Animal rights for the win! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ )

Article: Stephen Amell and ‘South Park’s’ Attack on Aggressive PC Culture

(I love the way the fandoms rallied around Stephen, because honestly, he really meant no harm in what he said and it was an innocent little statement, not some racist remark like the media and all the people on social media were making it out to be. So hurrah for fandom!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ )

Article: Debunking Five Absurd Comments About Planned Parenthood From the GOP Debate

(This inspires me because THANK GOD SOMEONE CALLED THESE ASSHOLES OUT ON THEIR ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!! RAWR!!!!!!!!!)

Article: Liberty University Students Survived the Unsafe Space Created by Bernie Sanders and His Pro-Choice Views

(This inspires me because it shows that there CAN be civil discourse between Conservative Christians and people like Bernie Sanders, whom I think is incredible. Just saying. 😉 ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ )

Article: Steven Universe is the most delightful, sex positive show on television

(This show is absolutely AMAZING and I’m so inspired that kids are getting to grow up with a cartoon that doesn’t shy away from adult topics that they NEED to learn about just because this society is a prudish one! Score! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ )

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COOL SHIT I LOVE

Pics then links!

(This is so cool! This tattoo artist specializes in covering up scars, particularly those of domestic violence victims, and I LOVE CATWOMAN, so this just was so freaking awesome!!!)

(I love the way this bedroom is painted!!! So cool!!!)

(Also love the way this room is decorated! So cute!!! ❤ )

(Halloween is right around the corner and I LOVE the way this house is decorated!!!! It’s amazing!!!! I especially love those pink lights!!! ❤ )

(OMG, is this not THE cutest idea for carving a pumpkin EVER?! I so totally want to do something like this with a pumpkin, but maybe a bit more elegant and less “spooky”. 😉 )

(This is a coloring page that a girl in a Always Keep Fighting, the campaign to raise awareness about and combat against depression and other mental illnesses started by Jared Padalecki of SPN, group I’m in on FB made and said we could use and I LOVE IT! I’ve having my mom print it out and I’m going to attempt to color it in as my first “adult coloring” project. 😉 Now I just need to get me some coloring tools to use… Lol!)

(Because I love Jensen… Suck it! 😉 ❤ )

Article: Bellabeat – Smart Jewelry

(Because…seriously?! What…the…fuck?! Is this even POSSIBLE?!)

An entirely new way to take care of your body and mind

BREATHING

Cope with stress using built-in breathing exercises.

SLEEP

See the quantity and quality of your sleep.

ACTIVITY

Set goals and track your movement throughout the day.

MENSTRUAL CYCLE

Track your reproductive health and know where you are in your cycle.

 

Article: Liquor Whipped – Vodka Infused Whipped Cream

(God must HATE me, knowing I can’t really drink because of my medications, even though I’m still going to try that Midori Cider drink, lol, but this sounds ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS! I’m going to have to try it. It can’t be helped. Lol! I’m going to put it on pie. YES!!!!!!!!!!! Rivers and Reynolds, here I come!!! 😉 )

Article: 12 Budget Friendly Halloween Costumes You Can Find in Your Closet

(Giving my geek girl blogger friend Jessica some love! She’s got some FABULOUS ideas for inexpensive costumes for the upcoming season, that, like she says, you can find in your closet most likely! Check it out! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ )

Article: ​17 Reasons You Love RenFair (And You’re Not Ashamed)

(It’s also RenFaire Season!!! And I’m HOPING BEYOND HOPE to attend my first ever Renaissance Festival this year, but I don’t have TOO high of hopes of that, seeing as how I have no vehicle and don’t really see my ex wanting to take me. Sigh. Maybe if I move to Seattle I can attend one up there, yes?)

Article: The 17 Geekiest Television Shows of All Time, Ranked

(Geek Love!!!!)

Article: Supernatural – A Custom (Cards Against Humanity) Deck on Cardcast

(Because….SPN….and Cards Against Humanity….though I’ve never actually played it…. Lol!)

Article: This Cat Jenga Game is the Most Adorable Family Game I’ve Ever Seen

(OMG, SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ )

 

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And there you have it! My second TILT post! Hope you enjoyed it! I know my posts are long… I’m hoping they’ll get smaller as I go along… Lol! Or maybe you enjoy them long? Because there’s more to enjoy? 😉 Teehee!

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I Fell…Face Forward…Into Fall (Like a Brick Wall)

Holy Mary, Mother of God…

I am SO FUCKING STUPID!!! I thought today was Thursday, so I went and made my Things I Love Thursday post and even went so far as to posting it before Kimi, bless her heart and thank GOD, reminded me that today is WEDNESDAY. *headdesk* I just…I can’t even… Ugh.

Fibromyalgia has me all out of fucking whack. I can’t think, can’t keep anything straight, can’t concentrate, can’t focus, can barely do anything for more than a few minutes without not wanting to do it anymore and just stopping. It’s like everything is just too overwhelming for me, even the simplest of things. Wtf, man? Seriously!

But, today is the FIRST DAY OF FALL/AUTUMN! And it’s after noon here and it’s 77 degrees outside! That’s cool weather for South Carolina! Lol! 😉

It’s starting to slowly warm up, though. I have an app on my phone, from the local news station, that tells me the temperature of the city that I live in. Lol. So that’s how I keep tabs on it. 😉 Just as an fyi. 😉

I’m soooooo excited about the artwork I’m having done! I have another artist, another geek girl blogger friend Kayly, drawing me up another picture of Dean using colored pencils and markers, a new technique she is trying out, and it’s based off another piece of Dean artwork she’s done in the past that I really really like. ❤ You (meaning ME) can never have too many pictures of Jensen Ackles, either drawn or taken in real life or saved on your computer from various sources… I swear I’m not a stalker! *crosses fingers behind back* 😉 Haha!

It’s a little blurry because I had to crop it from a collage, but this is the picture I was talking about that I fell in love with of Kayly’s! Isn’t she SO TALENTED?! SHE’S BOMB ASS!!!!!! I can’t WAIT to see what she comes up with for my piece!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I’m so impatient though. It’s HARD to wait for things you really want. *whines* Or, as my mother likes to say, “Would you like some cheese with that whine?” Haha.

My mom is freakin’ hilarious. She’s an excellent fly killer and will literally go on a fly hunt to track down flies in the house to murder them with her swatter. She stalks them and pounces on them. It’s so funny. And she was saying yesterday that they were “taunting” her because she couldn’t catch them. But she got them in the end. Lol. Also, she gets pissy with me when I say the word “fuck” or any variation of it, but when she gets angry or frustrated, she lets the f word flow so freely, it’s as if I myself were speaking. Lol. She cracks me up. I loves her. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Saw my ex this morning…and it was basically a booty call, at least for him. But damn…it was an AMAZING booty call. Lol. I’ll just leave it at that. If you want to read a little more about it in explicit details you can head over to Sex & The Holy City. 😉

I just love him so much and I’m not ready to let him go. I’m not sure I’ll EVER be ready to let him go. The thought of losing him is enough to drive me to the point of a mental breakdown. 😦 I can’t handle the thought of losing him. I can’t handle the thought of life without him. He was my world. And without your world, you cease to exist. I need him. I hate saying that, but it’s true. He’s like my drug, my addiction. I adore him so much. Every little quirk of his, every little thing he does…I feel butterflies and giddiness over it. When he holds my hand, my belly flutters. When he kisses me, my heart sings. When he’s near me, I feel more at peace and more calm. He gives me purpose, he gives me a reason to be.

I’m a lovesick fool, I know. It’s more like heartsick. And heartbroken. I know he doesn’t want a future with me. But I want to prove to him that he can trust me with his heart and his love again, and that I won’t hurt him again. Yet at the same time, he’s not doing that same thing for ME. He’s not doing anything to prove to ME that he won’t hurt ME again or abuse ME again. Hell, he’s abusing me NOW.

Rational has never won over emotional in me though. Emotional always wins. And emotional is still in love with the broken boy who refuses to admit he’s broken and take steps to fix himself and try to prove to ME that he’s become a better person so that I won’t end up in this position AGAIN. But who’s to say that I’ll ever even get out of this position when it comes to him? This may be my permanent position with him forever. And that really strikes me to my core. It feels like a knife to the heart, slicing right through my soul. Sigh.

Okay, I’m done being weighty. I think I’ve vented enough.

Ugh, now I’m all emotional. I’m gonna go sulk in bed and cry until I pass out and hopefully wake up feeling better.

Peace.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Color Me Bad(d)

So I want to get into the world of adult coloring. It’s become a new fad now and I’m really interested in it, especially because it’s a “fad” for people with chronic illnesses to help them relax and de-stress, and Lord knows I need some of THAT in my life. 😛

These are the two coloring books I want to start out with!

Creative Haven Creative Cats Coloring Book

I really like this one because, well, I love cats. Always have, always will. They are bitches, but I ADORE them. I worship my cats, practically. Especially Mango. That little shit is my life. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

 

NatureScapes

This one was another OBVIOUS pick for me because, well, I love giraffes as well. Lol! And I KNOW the whole book isn’t about giraffes, but just having a coloring book with giraffes on the cover would be awesome for me because I collect (*coughcough*hoard*coughcough*) giraffe items. 😉

Examples!:

(Giraffe hat!)

(Giraffe Jams from Jamberry)

(Assortment of giraffe things I own)

(Close-ups of giraffe pen pictures in giraffe assortment picture.)

(Notice the giraffe robe in this picture… BEST GOODWILL FIND EVER!!!!)

(Giraffe shirt)

(Mango in my giraffe shopping bag.)

(My giraffe scrapbooking rolling suitcase bag.)

(Giraffe charms I plan to use on my bouquet for whenever I get married… Lol! I also have one of these on my charm bracelet. 😉 )

(And in the bottom left hand corner, you will see a giraffe eating some leaves. This was a collage I put together for a project my therapist gave me, and of course I had to include the giraffe because I love giraffes…and also Castiel… 😉 The sticker beside the Cas pic reads “Tall, Dark, and Mine”, haha!)

 

And that’s most of my giraffe stuff. LOL! I like posting pics of stuff on this blog. It’s fun! I’m having a lot of fun with this blog, I must admit, and it’s actually really theraputic for me, as it keeps my mind focused on something other than all the negativity that I usually focus on. 😀 So yah for that!

 

Back to the coloring part, which was what I STARTED writing about, lol!

When it comes to actually COLORING the pages, these are the tools I want to use, based on a guide I read online about coloring that was recommended to me by a friend who is SUPER into coloring, lol!

Studio Series Colored Pencil Set (Set of 30)

The review on these was really good, so I’d like to invest in them, because they’re less than $15 for 30, though I’m sure it’ll be a little over $15 with shipping. 😛

Sargent Art 22-7251 50-Count Assorted Colored Pencils

Seriously, 50 pencils for $9.99?! And they got a good review?! Sign me up!

Koh-I-Noor Tritone 24 Pencil Set

This set is expensive, running around $40, but it’s THREE COLORS IN ONE PENCIL!!!! THAT IS SOOOOOO COOL! This is on my “wish list”. Lol! 😉

Prismacolor Premier Soft Core Colored Pencils, 72 Colored Pencils

These are the best of the best in the colored pencil world, so therefore they are expensive. That means they are on my “wish list”. Lol. 😛

Crayola 30 Count Twistable Colored Pencils

This got really great reviews as well and was the reviewers first choice in colored pencils, and it’s really inexpensive, so this would be a great set for me to start off with!

 

Now we move onto the markers! Because it was suggested that markers and pencils are the way to go when it comes coloring for adults, though suggested that having a set of crayons around was also good as well.

Sargent Art 22-1591 50-Count Fine Tip Classic Markers Pack

This was a marker that I believe was said was good for coloring more than just one time over a spot without tearing the page or bleeding through and whatnot. And it’s relatively cheap as well! There’s even a package on Amazon that includes the cat coloring book I want and this set of markers! Except I think it might be cheaper to get them separate… Lol!

Tombow Dual Brush Pen Art Markers, Primary, 10-Pack

These were recommended for detailing and this is the basic color set. They aren’t terribly expensive, like $17 for the pack, so that’s not so bad. Next up, I’ll show you the varied color set!

Tombow Dual Brush Pen Art Markers, Bright, 10-Pack

This is the “bright” pack of the detailing markers or for bigger spaces. 😀 These are a bit more expensive than the basic pack, running closer to $25, but I think the brighter colors would be worth it.

Copic Markers 36-Piece Sketch Basic Set

This is the GRANDDADDY of markers, the best of the best….and therefore the most expensive. So these are definitely going on the “wish list”. Lol. 😉

 

And finally…the recommended crayons.

Crayola 24ct Mini Twistables Crayons

They are of course, cheap as crap, so shouldn’t be a problem to get my hands on, lol. 😉

 

So, viola! My plan to (hopefully) start coloring!

Hope you enjoyed my coloring “wish list”! 😉

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Ink and Art *EDIT*

So I updated the “So What’s The Deal?” page on Vivificated. Put more about the character of Vivian Lake on there. 😀 So check it, yo! 😉 If you missed it, Vivificated is my 18+ SPN FanFic and Vivian Lake is the main character. 🙂 My last post from yesterday was of a cosplay I’m going to do of her for my photo op with Jensen at SeaCon in March. 😀

 

And and and OMG, KIMI IS SO AMAZING!!!!!!! She digitally colored in this anti-possession tattoo design that I’m TOTALLY in love with and that I want to get on each end of my collarbone area (so two tats in total), and it’s INCREDIBLE! I LOVES IT SO MUCH!!!!!! LOOKIE!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!! IT’S PERFECTION!!!!!!!!!!! *dies*

The design itself is by an artist by the name of Bianca Gambrioli. I found her on deviantart. She’s amazing! Though the pentagram in the middle isn’t right. Not to match the ones the boys in SPN have. The bottom left point is supposed to have the OTHER side as open and broken and the side that is shown as open and broken is supposed to be black and filled in. 😛

Haha. I’m such an SPN dork! 😉

**EDIT** I think I’ve decided that I’m just going to get the pentagram completely filled in with black, with no breaks. I just think I like it better that way. 😛

 

And and OMG!!! My friend Diedre, who is a FANTASTIC artist and has drawn many a FUCKING AWESOME thing for me, mostly tattoos that I plan to have inked on me in the future, is going to draw me a pencil sketch of Jensen Ackles as Dean from SPN! I picked my favorite picture of him from the show, and sent it to her, and she’s kinda self-conscious about her skills drawing people, but I have NO DOUBT IN MY MIND that it’s going to be FUCKING AWESOME, just like everything else she’s done for me. This is the Dean pic she’s going to try to recreate (it’s entitled “ohforfuckssake” when I saved it onto my computer, lol!):

 

She also drew this really FUCKING AWESOME portrait of Dobby from Harry Potter that I am totally in love with and am considering buying off of her…once my mom gives me the money she owes me… Lol. Check it out!

The artist is Diedre Maloney and I, Mandy Stone, in no way, shape, or form claim ANY rights to said drawing or it’s creation. That’s all her. Because she’s FABULOUS and all that shit. 😉 Seriously, she freakin’ rocks.

 

She’s also going to do a painting extremely similar to the one below for me, because I wanted to buy the original, but she had already sold it, and I didn’t know that, so she said she could do one for me at a very low cost, but it wouldn’t be “EXACTLY” the same, which I completely understand, but very similar, and we’re going to add in the color pale green along with the colors in the painting already. So here’s the painting:

It’s only 8 inches by 8 inches, but I just absolutely ADORE it. It kinda reminds me of the Tree of Life, without being OBVIOUSLY the Tree of Life, which would make my dad go APE SHIT if he saw an actual Tree of Life on my wall, because he would think it was pagan and that I was practicing witchcraft or something stupid like that because he’s stupid himself and ultra religious and crazy about his religion and tries to force it on everyone else. Sigh.

 

AND she’s going to design ANOTHER tattoo design for me based off one of the “shackles” pictures I posted. This one:

 

I can’t even tell you how much I love this woman! Want to see the ones she’s already designed for me? Of course you do! 😉 Here’s the very first one she ever designed for me, because I love dragonflies and consider them my spirit animal and always have, since I was really really young:

Isn’t it GORGEOUS?! I loves it so hardcore!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

The second one she designed was at my request for a bipolar related tattoo and I gave her an idea of something I liked and she just took it and did an AMAZE-BALL job with it. Lookie!:

I want it without the ribbon though, now. Or maybe keep it… I dunno. I’m so indecisive… Lol. I’m so…bipolar… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! 😀 But anyway, I LOVE this tat design! It’s SO PRETTY! And the way she incorporated lilies into it was just…incredible…because I don’t think I told her I really love lilies, I think she just went with lilies, and it worked out so amazingly!!!! Or maybe I did tell her I liked lilies… Either way!!! Gah! SO MUCH LOVE!!!!!!

 

Oh, and if you’re still interested in Jamberry, don’t forget about my Jamberry party, where if you order through it, I get rewards and benefits! So help a sista’ out, if you can and would like to! 😉 ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Mandy’s 2015 Jamberry Party