Today I want to bring to you a more serious post. What I’m going to share with you was written by a friend of mine, Anna (affectionately called Annie) Derrell, a scholar and an intellect…who also suffers from bipolar. And she SO hits the nail on the head when she talks about it in the passage I will share below:
“The worst thing the Enlightenment did, in my personal opinion, was make emotions pathological…
Before the Enlightenment, emotions were accepted, even expected in certain cases. You were supposed to LOVE God. Not just accept Him…not just follow him…you were supposed to LOVE HIM. You were supposed to love life…even if you were a humble, poor, peasant…you were taught that your life had a meaning…a lesson to teach you and others…and that you should embrace that and live a life as fulfilled as your circumstances would allow. People didn’t just observe holidays…they feasted! They CELEBRATED!! Emotion was a good thing…it showed devotion, it showed purity, it showed honesty…
But then came the Enlightenment…and suddenly emotion was first “feminized” and then, consequentially as most things “feminine” are in European society especially, demonized. Instead of conveying positive power, emotions became negative…they became weak. Ration, reason, and logic became the standards by which we were all supposed to live our lives.
Do you know the rational world is a cold one…?
It’s devoid of all hope, joy, and wonder…
I have a “mood disorder”…which is to say that I *FEEL* things “too much”… My emotions are considered “too extreme” by “normal” standards of society. Because I feel more than I think (and by the way…? I think a great deal…I am a scholar, after all) I am labeled as “diseased”… Because in this post-Enlightenment world, feeling is pathological. We treat it with medication and therapy, the same as we would any disease. But while I have no hope of changing the system (again…I am not lost to reason just because I happen to be more emotional), I do want to challenge it… Because I personally see nothing wrong with feeling things and feeling them strongly. Society may be uncomfortable with my passion…or my fury…or my depression…or my euphoria…but I am not. And while I will do the “right” thing and take my meds and go to therapy I will NOT be silenced. I will NOT be forced to hide in shame or disgrace. And I will NOT become what society wants me to be…just another thinking machine… I am proud to feel, the good and the bad. Feelings are not a disease, anymore than logic is a cure.”
She really captures the essence of what it feels like to be bipolar. We are told we are “overly emotional” so much, and that is portrayed as a “bad thing”… But why? WHY is it so bad to feel so DEEPLY and so INTENSELY? Feelings are what make life worth living! And yes, they can make life a living Hell, to be quite honest, but that’s the beauty of life, it’s all a part of it.
I just really wanted to share this with y’all as I feel it really does show just how it can feel to be bipolar and to feel like we’re being ostracized from society for “feeling”.
Thank you, and goodnight. 😉
Lolz. You know I always have more to say! 😉
My mom is going to pay the bills and our mortgage and then see if she can spare the money to allow me to get either a month-to-month subscription or a 3-month subscription to the Fandom of the Month Club, the fandom-inspired jewelry subscription service that I mentioned in a previous entry (in which I TOTALLY fangirled over it! 😉 )… I’m SUPER hoping she’ll have the money to allow me to get a 3-month subscription, because I think this is a SUPER AWESOME idea! ❤ So I’m SUPER excited about it and hope I’m not getting my hopes up only to be let down…
And speaking of fandom jewelry, I haven’t heard back from the lady who does the Unite the Fandoms! charm bracelets about customizing one for myself, which makes me a bit sad, because I was really hoping to get one of those.
And speaking again of mental illnesses and stigmas, Patrick Kennedy intrigues me. I am curious to read his memoir: A Common Struggle. He struggled with both addiction and mental illnesses (anxiety, depression, and bipolar), and his fighting for mental illness is inspiring. He also talks about the mental health care industry in this country, in his book, which I’m also intrigued to read his view on. He also runs something called “The Kennedy Forum”, which I should do some more research on…
And while my nails are growing, they are growing a bit too slowly for my liking on my left hand, or at least the nails on a few fingers are. RAWR! My friend who is my Jamberry consultant showed me her video about her tips on how to apply Jams the best way and get them to stay on for the longest amount of time, and I’m kinda excited to try it out for myself to see if I can do it properly and do it better than I WAS doing beforehand when I was using Jams, back in the summer of 2014.
I’m very impatient. Lol. That’s why I’m terrible with surprises or waiting to give people gifts and such, I just want to do things or know things or have things or talk about things and all of that…as soon as possible… 😉
Okay, now I’ve exhausted my resources for the day.
ONLY TWO MORE DAYS AFTER TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t forget that I’m doing a guest post on My Open Sketchbook, a review of the premiere! Be sure to check it out! (If you don’t mind spoilers, because, like I said: SPOILER QUEEN!!!) I’ll remind you again, don’t worry! 😉
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤